Taking a Break

It's Sunday. I haven't ran since last Wednesday. And now, due to illness, I probably won't run for another week.

I went to the doctor today and was given a prescription for an antibiotic to treat a sinus infection and the beginnings of bronchitis. Time for a little R & R from running to my dismay.

Tonight, the house was empty. The kids had various places to go and so my husband took them hither and thither. I stayed home and watched The Count of Monte Cristo. What an incredible movie. I think it's now on my top 10 list.

It was timely and the Lord actually ministered to me as I watched the movie. "God will give me justice" was the theme of this movie. And for however we are mistreated, when we are mistreated, it is not ours to take up vengeance. That is the Lord's prerogative and His alone. I am reminded of this about the God who has saved me and am being driven to delve deeper in trusting Him in this.

When the man in the movie was unjustly treated and thrown in his prison cell, the words, "God will give me justice" were carved into the cement wall. As I sat on my couch, I remembered that about ten years ago when we bought the very couch I was sitting on, God shared a similar word with us after we had went through a very difficult ministry situation. I got up off the couch, removed the cushion to look at the label underneath. It reads, "Justice, for the rest of your life." I decided to peel off the label and keep it in a safe place. I think I will laminate it and place it in my Bible.

It's a mystery to me why I would ever have an inkling of doubt in the attributes of God when He has done so many things in my life that are tangible. Miracles that have come my way. Things that I have been able to see, touch, taste, and hold. It's like He has gone out of His way at times to bring His understanding of my predicaments/situations/circumstances before me. And still at times, in those hard places in life, I lose my mooring and get tossed into thick patches of fog, and oh, how I am reminded of my humanness, and how far I have yet to go and grow.

Sanctification is not something I can muster up myself. It is God doing a profound work of grace in the soul. A work that changes the very interior of the heart. It is left up to Him. I must only come to the place where I understand that, believe that, and then submit to His methods of bringing it to fruition in my life. The fog may be the necessary means. Because when I see myself in the fog, I see my hopelessness to save myself. I can only cling to Christ to be rescued. To be rescued from a heart that would avenge itself rather than show mercy and love and leave room for God's justice to unfold.

I am thankful to be sick, to be in this present fog, and to take a break. Running days are not far off. I'll be back in a couple weeks running strong and carefree once again. And I'll get a grip on my moorings soon enough too, leading my soul in deeper trust, deeper rest in the God who will grant me "justice, for the rest of my life."